Friends

Of the billions of people on this earth, we’ve chosen a few along the way to label as “friends.”

Friends come in many forms. Facebook Friends. Best Friends. Close Friends. Great Friends. Sorta Friends. Casual Friends (some with benefits). There are Childhood Friends, High School Friends, College Friends, Work Friends. Think of any of those categories and I’m sure names and faces pop up in your mind. As many as there are different types of people, there are varying degrees of friendship. I put an extremely high value on my friends. Over my six decades, I’ve made a lot of them and stayed in touch with as many as possible along the way.

There are some people who limit the amount of friends, keeping it a core group.  The group of friends they stay in touch with are pretty much it. In my case, I’ve got a ton of really good friends that I see sporadically. It could be several months, it could be years. But those are the people who know, when we get together, it’s as if it had just been moments before and we just pick up where we left off. None of that, “You never called” stuff.

There were the elementary school friends, who I lost track of. The high school friends, which I’ve reconnected with thanks to Facebook. I hit the jackpot with my college friends. I’m hoping at some point, I can do justice to that story and write a screenplay about those crazy days at Terry Hall.  And of course, my incredible collection of radio friends that I have made along the way. There’s a lifetime supply of stories right there.

The one term I have a really hard time with is, “Best Friend.” To single out one person out of all the people I know, I’d probably have to default to the cliché answer, “My wife.”  I don’t really have one person I would call a best friend but that’s because I want it that way. If forced to identify someone outside of my marriage as a Best Friend, I’d probably say, “It’s whichever friend I’m with at the time you ask.”

There are people-watchers. I’m a people-listener. The bottom-line is that everyone has a great story.  Last weekend while chatting with Victoria, somehow I got on the topic of a certain person and suddenly, details started spilling out about their life and their story.  All stuff that could easily end up on the Hallmark Channel. Maybe it’s the writer in me, the story-teller, but it’s the details of people’s lives that simply fascinates me.

If you’re a friend and you’d like to sit around some day and compare life stories, just say when & where. There are actually two people from my past that I would love to have that conversation with and hear how life has gone since the last time we saw each other.  I think we all have people like that. For no other purpose, just for the curiosity of it. Here’s what happened to me, how about you? How was your life? I really doubt these two particular conversations will ever happen, but I’d like to believe they will.

Or maybe, just maybe, that’s what heaven is. Just sitting there, with a friend from long ago, swapping stories, getting answers to your questions, remembering old times. Having their stories trigger more of those long-lost adventures from your memory bank.

For yours truly, that would work. A lot. Yeah, that sounds like heaven to me.

Family is assigned to you. Your friends are those wonderful bonuses that add so much to our crazy story of life.

To all of my friends, thank you for being a part of my story.

Cheers!

Tim Hunter

FRIENDS

Yeah, don't ask

                   Yeah, don’t ask…..

We’re watching the show “Gotham: Rise of the Villains” each week on FOX and, if you’re into the Marvel Comic book thing, it’s a fun, long-winded explanation of how Gotham got to the point that Batman had to step in and fight crime.  The series started and continues to be set at the time when Bruce Wayne is around the age of 12 or so.  What we’re gradually seeing each week is how Penguin became Penguin, Cat Woman became Cat Woman, etc.

The show is cast perfectly and the writing is crisp.

The other night, one of the weirder characters said something profound that really connected with me. Words to the effect of, “When you don’t have a lot of friends, it makes the ones you have more valuable.”  That got me to thinking about the various levels of friends that we have in this life.  While the word ‘friends’ is used a lot, we each have different types of friends…or, at least, I do.

I’ve always liked getting along with people.  It just seems like an easier way to live and probably is just one of the things I inherited from my dad, the original Mr. Nice Guy.  There are those who bring their problems to work, or take things out on anyone that’s available, only to later apologize or not.  There are jerks, drama queens, all around messes, bullies–you name it. Somehow, my M.O. is to befriend people, resulting in less conflict.  I’m not a conflict guy.  And, besides, like I said, when you get along, life is easier.

So, what are friends?  We throw the word around and say “Facebook Friends” but hey–I have over 1,000 Facebook Friends, that include family members from my wife and kids all the way to a friend of a friend who was told, “Hey, you oughta friend this guy and see what he posts.”

I have work friends. Neighbors who are friendly and we chat, but don’t spend a lot of time together.  I have social friends that I see based on what events we’re doing.

But if I were to drill down to the handful of people that, to me, epitomize the idea of friends, a couple of folks come to mind.  Sure, this is dangerous because, if you’re not on the list, then you might be tempted to think, “Wow, I thought we were friends!”  See, real friends never think that way.  They don’t constantly keep score about who called who or even think something negative about the other person.  Some people I know have very dysfunctional friendships that they cherish very much, but those kind of relationships don’t fit my definition and simply are more work than they’re worth.

One friend that comes to mind–Steve Diklich. A former college roommate, we share some great adventures in the Terry Hall days at the University of Washington and have stayed friends ever since.  We may see each other only two or three times a year, if that.  Steve and I actually went to the Oregon game together last weekend and got all caught up on our personal lives. I can’t tell you when the last time was that we saw each other.  That might have been it for the year, I’m not sure.  But see, it just doesn’t matter when you’re friends.  You cherish your time together, act like it was just five minutes ago that you last saw each other and then leave, looking forward to the next time.

Bryon Mengle was our producer during the final two years of the Murdock, Hunter & Alice show. He came to us with a rolodex full of contacts and a willingness to do whatever it took for good radio.  I’ve watched him grow professionally over the years, seen him get married (I was his best man) and enjoyed staying in touch with him as Bryon, Shawna and their two kids go through their adventures together. These days, most of our connection is through Facebook, instant messages or email. He still asks for my opinion on things or if I might have any crazy ideas for a radio promotion, but again, we just pick up where ever we last left off.  With doing mornings back in Iowa these days, I think it’s been a couple of years since we caught the Mengles passing through town.

Heading down this road, I’m thinking of more people I would consider really good friends.  Some I’ve seen recently, others not for years, maybe even decades.  It doesn’t make them any less friends.

Good friends don’t judge, they care about what happens to you and can’t wait to tell you what happened to them.

The quote that always pops in my mind when the subject comes up: “Friends help you move. A real friend helps you move bodies.”

Yeah, well, I made it that far before going funny on you.

Are you considered one of my friends?  You know the answer to that one and that makes me look forward to the next time we get together, whenever that may be.

Tim Hunter